Fighting the Loneliness of Being a Project Leader
By Bob McGannon

We hear it from many of the people we work with and we have felt it as project leaders ourselves; being a leader can be lonely and at times, very lonely. Decisions need to be made, often in resolving conflict between the client and your team, or between team members. Financial accountability, often with aggressive goals for cost containment or product research needs, seems to fall squarely on your shoulders and yours alone.

Does this loneliness sound familiar?

Well, there is hope - but it requires a concerted effort to change from within.

This change requires a different viewpoint on the product you are producing, the team you work with, and your approach to the role of project leader.

The Product - Notice this doesn't say your product. Although it indeed is a product that you are part of producing, the realization that it is a product of a group effort and not yours alone is significant. Will failure to execute on your behalf cause the product to be unsatisfactory (or nonexistent)? Most likely, yes. However, will the failure of other people on your team produce the same undesirable results? Again, most likely, yes. So what is the difference here? Why is it that the project leader feels the sense of loneliness?

In most projects, the difference is a matter of proximity and attention to the product. The project leader is normally given the mission to "get the job done" and is sent off (hopefully with a dedicated project sponsor) to accomplish the task at hand. This degree of independence is desirable to most project leaders. With this "get it done" mission, considerable attention is paid to the project by the project leader; the team members on your project team benefit from that management. Most project leaders do not desire additional attention be paid to them, as they view that is unnecessary. Ironically, the project leader feels a sense of loneliness due to the independence they strive for and desire! The realization that the lack of attention the project leader receives is a contributor to the "feeling alone" phenomena is paramount to overcoming the undesirable "lonely" feelings.

Considering this and analyzing your personal environment as a leader can reveal changes you can make, both procedurally and emotionally. Understand that the product is not yours, it is the teams, of which you are a member and have chosen to drive with independence. Should you feel a sense of loneliness, you can schedule a review with your manager or project sponsor. Review status, describe your remediation plans for any risks that have surfaced, demonstrate a prototype or other deliverables. Depending upon your working environment there are a number of things that can be done to obtain validation of your role and direction - overcoming the dread that manifests itself as loneliness. The Team - As with the product, your viewpoint as a project leader on the team you work with can significantly alter your state of mind. As the project leader aren't you a member of the team with one of many distinct responsibilities that are required for the project to succeed? If the team is facing a challenge, how do you as the project leader go about solving it? If the team has reached a major milestone, how do you recognize this accomplishment? Alone? With the team? In some other fashion?

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